Chasing Shadows Read online

  I pretend to eat the slop that Morgana gives me each morning. The Reaper only knows where she gets the ingredients for it, and then I spend the rest of my day trying to get through one of the mirrors. Every hour just trying to get somebody to see that I'm trapped, that I'm still here. I'm not dead. At least, Morgana says I'm not anyways. It’s the one thing I actually believe that comes out of her mouth. The rest was too obscure to even consider. At the end of the day, I would lay down for a night of restless sleep filled with nightmares, only to wake up to do it all over again.

  “You should be nicer to me.” Morgana slithered up beside me. I didn’t have to look to know that the crimson dress she wore almost everyday clung to her like a second skin. It pushed up her breasts until they threatened to come clean out of the top. It was one of her tricks to try and get me to accept her advances. Too bad for her I was more into the subtle sex appeal. Like Kat.

  “And why is that?” I asked glancing sideways at her.

  She flicked her long black hair over her shoulder with a coy smile. “Because eventually you will get tired of trying to get out, and then you’ll want me, and I might not want you then.”

  I scoffed. “I'll never get tired of trying. I will always try to get out and get back to her.” I made my words firm and unyielding, trying to make her believe them as much as myself.

  “You say that now, but believe me, it won't last. Do you think I became Queen of the Shadow Realm overnight?” She waved her hands over her form in an exaggerated manner. “I had a family that was waiting for me on the other side too. And no matter how much I tried, no matter how much I screamed and begged, they never knew I was here. They just went on with their lives as if I never existed.”

  The bitterness in her voice surprised me. She had always acted like she didn't have a care in the world. Well, besides getting me to sleep with her. The whole Queen of the Shadow Realm thing was a joke. Even if it was true, there was no one else here but me and her. The Reaper only knew where the prince had ended up if he was here at all.

  “So tell me, Morgana,” I tried to not let the disdain I felt for her come through, “What is it that you are here?”

  I'd asked her the question before, several times in fact, but she would always give me an evasive answer. Sometimes it was about how she was born here. Another time she had said she had just found her way here or some other nonsense like that. This was the first time that she had made any mention having a prior life or family back in the Underground.

  She stepped in front of my path blocking me from going further. Her hand slid up my chest and tangled in my pale hair. I stood as stiff as a board but didn’t push her away as I waited to see if she would answer.

  “Just say I rejected the wrong person,” she murmured as she pushed up on her tiptoes and tried to press her lips to mine. I turned my face and she kissed the side of my cheek.

  “And who would that be?”

  “Give me a kiss and I'll tell you.” She smirked at me.

  “I don't want to know that badly. In fact, I don't really want to know at all.” I reached out to remove her arms from around me, but she dropped her arms from around my neck first with a huff.

  Morgana pursed her lips then let out a sigh. “Fine. You're no fun.”

  “Have I ever been?” Inwardly, I was laughing at myself. Cheshire S. Cat wasn’t fun? The audacity of it was unimaginable. The fact was that being here had caused me to become a party pooper, rightly killing my former self. I missed it but it was necessary. There were more important things than having fun. Like getting back to Kat.

  “If you're going to tell me, no more games.”

  Her eyes went to my chest where she walked her fingers across the muscles as she said, “You know the Reaper’s a nice guy once you get to know him, quite handsome too. Though, he has a nasty temper.”

  The Reaper? What did he have to do with any of this? Then before I could ask her, I stopped and realized what she had just said. I looked down at her, my eyes widening. “You rejected the Reaper?”

  “Everyone makes mistakes.” Morgana shrugged one shoulder and turned away from me and walked back towards the place she called home.

  It wasn’t much more than a hovel. A door shoved into a dirt mound but with nothing else around but the graveyard of mirrors, it was precariously out of place. Where she got any of the stuff to create her home was just as much a mystery as what she fed me every day. For all I knew, she materialized it out of nowhere. Maybe the Reaper was her parts supplier. He was probably the only one who knew why my magic didn't work down here.

  I had tried to de-materialize Between Worlds so many times my head ached. I couldn’t even get halfway there. When I tried to use it I didn’t even feel the familiar pull at my energy. Either something was stopping my magic, or it simply just wasn’t there anymore. Morgana hadn’t been very forthcoming with information on that front either.

  “If you know the Reaper then where is he?” I waved a hand around us as if he should be in the very place we stood. “Where does he dwell?”

  I followed her as she walked into the hovel and then she splayed herself out across the bed and crooked her fingers towards me. “Come lay next to me, and I'll tell you all about it.”

  The hovel only had one bed. When I had first arrived I had spent painful nights on the floor refusing to share a bed with her, but then after several days of waking up with aches and pains, I relented. At first, she tried her best to come on to me, accidentally brushing my body with her own, pretending she didn’t know I was there. Thankfully, when it was clear that I wasn't going to accept her advances, she kept her hands to herself, at least during the night. During the day was a whole different story.

  I didn't want to give her any false hopes that I was finally coming around when all I wanted was information. I didn't want to be stuck here forever. If she was withholding information that could help me get out, I was going to get it one way or the other. I was Cheshire S. Cat. When the queen was forcing her Seelie on me I had been the best pretender in all the Underground. I was good at making others think I was interested when really I was just waiting for it to be over so I could get what I wanted. I’d played the game for years; I could do it for a few more minutes. At least to get what I needed, and then I was out of here.

  I sat down on the edge of the bed and glanced back at her with a wary stare. “All right, I'm on the bed tell me.”

  “No, no,” Morgana patted the bed next to her, “Lay down, take a load off from screaming and banging at the mirror, you can take a rest for just one day, can't you?

  I let out a frustrated growl as I swung my legs up over the side of the bed and lay next to her, trying to keep as much distance between us as possible. The moment I did, she moved over until the full length of her body was pressed up against my side, making sure I felt every curvature of her form.

  “Now isn't that better,” she purred, trailing her hand up and down my chest.

  My ears twitched as I forced myself not to roll my eyes. “If you say so. Now will you tell me?”

  As she settled in against me, as if she were planning to stay a while, she hummed, “I don't know. What were we talking about again?”

  “You were telling me where the Reaper lives, but I'm starting to think you don't even know.” I moved to get up but her hands were quick to keep me on the bed.

  “Don't be so hasty. You know you really should learn to lighten up. When you're stuck down here for eternity, you have to at least try to find some enjoyment in it. Spending every day trying to reach the other side is going to drive you mad.”

  I gave her a stony glare. In return, she huffed and laid her head against my shoulder. Her hair fanned out around her as she looked up at me from beneath her lashes. “The Reaper really isn’t somebody you want to mess with, even if it’s to get home. He doesn't take kindly to strangers, especially not Fae.”

  The fact that the Reaper didn't like strangers was laughable. Wasn't it his
job to take souls to the other world? How did he handle his daily job if he couldn’t stand people? An introvert forced to interact with others, there was nothing more ironic.

  I said to her, “I'll take my chances. How do I get to him?”

  “You don’t really think I’m going to tell you, do you? As soon as I do, you’ll go running off on your own and get yourself killed. You won’t last five minutes in this graveyard.” She gave a haughty laugh.

  “What do you know?” I pushed away from her and off the bed. “You just sit here day after day doing nothing. Did you even try to get out? To get home? Or are you so full of yourself that nobody would want you even if you came back?”

  Morgana’s eyes narrowed on me as she leaned on her elbows. “You don't know what you're talking about. You don’t know who I am or anything about me. And I won’t be responsible for your rash decisions.”

  “Then why bring it up at all,” I growled clenching my teeth together, my tail whipping behind me in rapid movements as I tried to restrain my anger.

  “Because I'm tired of seeing you pout and scream. You're not the only one here, you know. I’ve had to listen to your nightmares every night. I haven't slept a decent night's sleep in months,” she moved her hands over her face, her fingers touching the skin beneath her eyes, “I'm starting to get bags. Next thing you know, I'll be all wrinkly. No one's going to even want me and then where will I be?”

  “Why won't you help me then?” I snarled, not caring for her whining.

  “I didn't say I wasn't going to help you, I just said I wasn't going to tell you where he was. That doesn't mean that I won't show you.” She smoothed her hands down her dress to get the non-existent wrinkles out of it, and then Morgana circled around the bed to the other side of the room.

  She opened the door to her closet and started digging around. I stood there with my arms crossed, tapping my foot and patiently waiting until she finally pulled out what she was looking for. She held up some clothing that I had never seen before and then started to disrobe.

  I turned my back on her quickly, remembering her game. More than once she had caught me off guard by taking her clothes off at random. Supposedly, she would be itchy or have spilled something on them. I didn’t believe it for a second. Where she even got all her clothes from was another wonder of the Shadow Realm. It made me long for my own expansive wardrobe.

  “I'm done, you can turn around now.” At her bitter words, I slowly turned around with my hands up over my face to make sure she was actually dressed. I was surprised by how conservative her clothing was. From the moment I arrived here she’d worn plunging necklines and dresses with high slits, but what she was wearing now wouldn't even make a school kid blush.

  Wearing brown slacks and low heeled shoes, her forest green long sleeve shirt only had a slight scoop. It hardly showed any cleavage whatsoever. She took her long black hair and pulled it up into a high ponytail so that the ends of it skimmed the back of her neck.

  “If I’d known you were going to stare, I would have changed into clothing like this before,” she teased me with a wink.

  My lips dipped into a frown as I turned away from her and toward the door.

  “Just come on,” I commanded before stopping at the door. When she came up behind me, I swung the door open with a mocking bow. “After you, your highness.”

  Chapter 3

  Kat

  GOING TO CHESS’ grave was always hard. Not that visiting a deceased loved one was easy for anyone, but I found it particularly hard since we never got to bury his body.

  I used to go every day, now I was lucky to get there once a week. It made me feel guilty for my lack of attendance. The other Fae brought him new flowers and gifts for the vine encased throne. It still sat under the willow tree that was created in his memory. I’d never had to make sure it was cleaned off, because someone was keeping it pristine.

  It made me happy to know others cared so much about him but also mad, because it should be my job. I should be the one making sure his grave was cared for. The one who should be by every day just to talk to him. But even I knew that my heart couldn’t take it. The times I did come out were hard enough.

  Sometimes I would come out here just to talk to him about nothing at all. Whether or not he could actually hear me I didn't know. I would tell him about my day or some crazy thing my mother had done. Sometimes I’d come out here to vent about the things I just couldn’t handle. But most the time I came out here when I missed him.

  It was usually near the end of the day, when I should be going to bed, but instead I would curl up in a ball on the throne as if just being there made me close to him. I would cry until my throat was raw and my eyes burned. This was one of those times.

  I'd been here for at least a couple hours and my sobs had slowly ceased. I stayed here in his throne, my insides calm except for the gaping hole in my chest where he should be.

  “I told you it was going to be like this,” a deep, sultry voice caused my head to jerk up from the throne, Mab, the UnSeelie Queen, stood before me. Still looking very much the queen in her black on black pantsuit, she scanned the area with her sapphire eyes. They were the same exact shade as her son’s. I suddenly remembered that I wasn't the only one who had lost somebody. She’d lost her son.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked wiping my face with the back of my hand as I sat up.

  “Why visiting the human world. I thought it was all the rage this year.” Her lips twisted into a grim smile, sarcasm dripping from her words.

  “Yeah, but I didn't think that you would come. My mother sure hasn’t.”

  “That’s the difference between your mother and I. What kind of queen would I be if most of my citizens were over here and I was in the Underground?” She tutted and shook her head. “I can't very well keep my eye on them in another world.”

  Mab wasn't like my mother, Tatiana, the Seelie Queen. She couldn’t give a rat's ass about the Fae in the human world as long as they weren’t causing trouble in the Underground. Besides, she was too busy trying to find ways around the newly formed Council that was blocking her every move in regards to the Kingdom.

  In that way Mab was the better Queen, the better ruler. She didn't overstep her bounds, and she cared more for her people's safety than her own. If the government knew that she was here now they would be scrambling over themselves to capture her. She would be great leverage in getting their little registration thing going.

  The fact that they hadn’t tried to capture me showed that at least they had some brains in their head when it came to the Fae. They wanted me on their side and knew that taking me would cause uproar. It was pretty ridiculous in my opinion, even though Chess had been the one that had given his life to save them, I was still the one they revered and sometimes to my chagrin, feared.

  I suppose it was better for them to fear me than hate me. I hadn’t done much in the aspect of things to cause any hatred. I hadn't done much of anything since I’d left. I had pretty much practiced my magic and tried to avoid my mothers’. The human one kept trying to get me more involved with the Fae community while the other one kept trying to call me through the mirror. I had them covered unless I needed them. Last time I had a mirror call from her it hadn’t ended so well for either of us.

  “But like I was saying,” Mab continued as she walked across the green grass in front of the throne before kneeling down to where the other Fae had laid gifts and flowers, “I told you what you were in for before you gave your magic to that feline. It won't get any better.” She glanced up at me seriousness on her face before she focused her attention back to the ground. She placed her hand on the ground. A glittery blue energy spread out from it and into the ground, and when she lifted her hand a single white rose lay its place.

  “I don’t expect it to,” I replied to her, my awe of her skill masterfully masked.

  “If you say so,” she shrugged and then stood from the ground and dusted off her knees
, “Now, how are you going to get our boys back?”

  My eyebrows scrunched together as I stared at her. “What do you mean get them back? They're dead. There is no getting them back.”

  “Dead and dead are two different things. You sent them back to where they came from, right?”

  “Yeah, that's what the spell was supposed to do. Send the Shadows back to where they belong.”

  “And where exactly do the Shadows belong?” Mab crossed her arms over her chest and waited like a patient teacher. I really wished people would stop asking questions they already knew the answers to. It would be so much easier if they would just tell me what they knew right away instead of making me run around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to figure out on my own.

  “Shadows go to the Shadow Realm, and that means they're not dead. They're just…” she fluttered her hand in the air, “…misplaced.”

  I stared in disbelief, “Misplaced? Is that what you call it?”

  When I had done the spell given to me by my Seelie mother I'd expected myself to go with the Shadows if I didn't have the strength to keep my feet planted firmly on the ground. It was the Shadow man who had the last laugh, though. Chess’ blood had been on my hands when I had cast the spell, making it so that he was the sacrifice instead of myself. The spell had done its job. It got rid of the Shadow man and took Chess with him, leaving me in a devastated state.

  I was still trying to get used to the idea that Chess and Dorian were both gone. Dorian and I hadn’t exactly seen eye-to-eye at the end, and I had pretty much broken his heart, but that I didn't mean I wanted him stuck in the Shadow Realm forever. It wasn't something I would wish on anybody, except the Shadow man since I had sent him there. If Mab thought that I was going to scramble all over myself because she gave me some kind of cryptic message about them not being dead she had another thing coming.